I should know by now that when God begins laying a lesson on my heart that I am going to need to walk out that lesson. Why is that? Because we can’t “own” it until we’ve “lived” it. Pleasant? Not usually. Worth it? Most definitely!
We’ve probably all l heard the song, "I Can Only Imagine". Will we stand or will we fall before the throne when we stand before Jesus? It is definitely a song of praise. But when I really ponder on that question, it really is a deep question that requires my heart to be searched.
These days of such turmoil and darkness with the Middle East fighting, persecution of Christians, the U.S. no longer being a free democracy with corruption running a muck. It’s not a joyful world, but yet I have a joy in my heart because of Christ. But is that evident to others? Am I walking out the plans that Christ has laid out for me? Or, has much of my life been doing what seemed good but won’t count for much when I stand before Him?
These are serious questions, I know. But I can’t shake them. I don’t want to stand before Christ and have everything burned up because it was not His plan that I lived!
Often when we think of God’s plan, we think major, huge plans. There may be those, but I think much of His plan is us allowing Him to live through us and us being His hands and feet. His love flowing, drawing others to Him.
So here I am, sitting apart with God, healing and being prepared for the next season He has laid out. I guess I should also tell you that the Lord spoke to me when He moved me out of the last ministry that my latter years would be greater than my former years. Exciting? Absolutely, but also a little scary if I lean on my own understanding!
It’s been about 8 months, and while I am not totally healed, God is beginning to give me glimpses of things to come. But in the meantime, He keeps laying the question on my heart, “Am I ready to stand before His throne?” Pride definitely says “of course”. Wisdom says “absolutely not”!
So God is making me very sensitive to every situation in my life and to really look at how I respond or what my attitude is. How do I respond? Is it in love? Is it how Jesus would respond? If it sounds like something He would say, was I sincere? Was it really what my heart and mind were feeling?
These questions are actually generated by the Lord and I pray them a lot, they are found in Psalm 139:23-24.
Thank You, Abba, that You love me so much that You challenge me to allow You to examine my heart that I might be found obedient to surrendering my life so that Your plan can play out in my life. Thank You as You walk me through each situation, and often need to carry me through. It is only because of Your faithfulness that I can testify of Your great love. Thank You that You never leave us or forsake us! Thank You for Your lovingkindness which is never ending and deeper than anything we can ever fathom. You are my shield, my strength, my strong tower, my secure place in times of trouble, knowing that if You are for me, who can come against me and defeat You? I may have battle scars but they are a badge of honor that You would count me worthy to serve in Your army! I love You more than life itself! Be glorified in me that others will see You. Amen!